Born and raised in the United States, I never thought about Dr.
Iyengar’s topic, or the points that she made in her TED video about choosing
and our cultural bias. (http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/sheena_iyengar_on_the_art_of_choosing.html)
As Dr. Iyengar conveyed, Americans have been taught for their
entire lives that choices, preferably choices that we make and the more choices
that we have the better, are part of everyday living. Indeed, if Americans were denied choices,
they would feel offended or cheated in some way. It would be “un-American” to say no to having
choices.
As I watched the presentation, I had difficulty remaining focused
because examples from my own life and my own perspective kept cropping up and,
in the context of Dr. Iyengar’s message I quickly began to find humor and even
a little embarrassment concerning how I perceived choice as a “requirement” in
many scenarios. For example, I remember
buying my motorcycle a few years ago.
There were two of the model that I wanted that were exactly alike on the
showroom floor. I spent quite some time
looking over each one for any minor differences or flaws and finally made my
choice based upon the one that I considered to be the “best” of the two. Or, when a local department store that had an
extensive men’s clothing department used to be nearby and I would shop there, I
always preferred when I found a shirt or a pair of pants that I wanted to buy
that there be at least two exactly alike so that I could choose the best
one. Whereas if there was only one, I
went over it with a fine-toothed comb to make absolutely certain that there
were no flaws or imperfections. Just
recently, I bought a new car from a local dealer and I was mildly put off that
they only had one of the particular model and color that I wanted. I would have preferred two, so I could
choose!
Reflecting on my own, heretofore largely unnoticed predilection
for choice, and hearing Dr. Iyengar talk about eastern Europeans, the Japanese,
or other cultures that perceive choice differently, I could only shake my head
at what now seem like my rather peculiar and perhaps even misguided feelings
about always needing to have a choice.
And since early childhood, if I chose to do something and then did it,
things were fine in my world. But if I
chose to do something and then someone (like my parents) told me to do it, I resented
it and drug my feet because in retrospect my “choice” had been changed into a
direct order. I’m beginning to wonder if
I need therapy.
I am fascinated by Dr. Iyengar’s findings, especially her second
and third “assumptions” that Americans make: more options lead to better
choices, and never say no to choice. As
I think further on the purchasing examples that I have observed in myself, I
would have to admit that there have been times when having “too many” choices
left me feeling frustrated and sometimes unable to make any choice at all. In fact, depending upon my mood and stress
level, there were times when I was glad that there was only one of something on
the rack or on the showroom floor because then I didn’t end up second-guessing
myself later on.
The example of premature babies on life support and the difference
in how the French decide to remove a child from life support, versus how
Americans make that same decision was incredibly poignant. Even though American parents are the ones
asked to make the choice, and insist upon it, they suffer the most in the end. Parents are not the ones who make the decision
in France; rather it is the Doctor who decides when to remove life
support. The French parents recover far
more quickly from the pain of losing a child this way, and even gain
perspective on life and its meaning.
When I listened to this, the thought that came to mind was of our own,
individual death. Mostly, we know
neither the time nor the place of our death.
In the movie, The Bucket List
(2007), when Morgan Freeman’s character reflects on his knowing the approximate
time of his death he says that he thought he would find it “liberating”, but as
he found out, it is not. I have often
heard people say that they are glad that they don’t know how long they have
left to live. In essence, they are
saying “no” to a very personal and a very critical choice. We gain peace in not having a choice in the
matter. I find it hard to fathom how
those who are given a terminal diagnosis deal with knowing. I hope to never find out.
But let me emerge from the dramatic, or even the morbid, and
address whether or not I “agree” with Dr. Iyengar and what may be the
implication of her comments on leadership.
I do agree that Dr. Iyengar’s three assumptions are generally true of
American culture. How often have I
heard, especially from the gurus of late, that indeed “Happiness is a choice”? More importantly, so we are told, we each
must make that choice for ourselves.
Make your own choices, but be prepared to accept the consequences of
those choices. Americans thrive on
having the most choices that they can have, and not only do we never say “no”
to choice, we aggressively insist on choice.
Then Dr. Iyengar closes with a most interesting thought: maybe
listening to more perspectives, or from other cultures, on the importance and
even the authenticity of choice would serve us well. Perhaps Americans need to stop and think
about whether our view (the three assumptions) is always the optimal
approach. In fact, limiting our choices
through informed dialogue with others, sharing opinions on the matter, may
benefit not only the choice that we may make, but benefit other aspects of our
lives as it benefited the French parents to not be the ones who chose when to
take their premature baby off life support.
I had to chuckle a bit when I had the fleeting thought that in a way Dr.
Iyengar was suggesting that we should consult an increased number of choices
about having a choice, but I’m sure that wasn’t her actual intent.
So too as leaders, perhaps we need to be much more conscious about
situations involving choices. Maybe we
need to reason our way through whether we actually enable choices (and how many
choices) for those in our charge. At
very least, we should help to ensure that if we offer choices, our employees
are well equipped to make an informed choice.
I would say that the same holds for our peers and even our bosses. Sometimes it may indeed prove best to limit
choice. If you go to your boss with a
laundry list of choices, rather than two or three “good” choices or options,
then perhaps you haven’t done your job.
Likewise, if you don’t intelligently narrow the choices, but instead
throw everything on the table for your employees, maybe you haven’t served them
well either. I’m not suggesting that we
as leaders stack the deck. What I am
suggesting is that our construct of choices must be meaningful and actionable,
and that true discernment is possible among what we offer to those whom we
serve. We need to ensure that there
really is a need for both “ballet slippers” and “adorable”, or if anyone can
really tell them apart. We need to base
our choice, indeed our value judgements, less on the illusion of choices and
more on the authenticity of what we view as choice. Thank you Dr. Iyengar for opening our eyes to
a vital issue not only in our culture but also our pursuit of learning about
real leadership skills.
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